Bipity Bopity Screwed.

Did you hit the age of 18, assume that once you passed over that magical line of adult hood that you could not be a child anymore, pick up a booze, and screw the park? I dream of never growing up. I am unfortunately not Peter Pan, for fear of ridicule, for I do not look good in tights, but I digress. I am so afraid of being an adult. I am on my way to being twenty, and I feel like I am not like other teens. I just want to get ice cream, and watch Spongebob. I want to run around the park, and dance until I can not breathe. I do not want to dance well, but gesticulate at one hundred miles per hour, and laugh so incredibly loud. I do not want to party in a house with peer pressure, or profanity. I want to drive in my baby blue car at 8:30 as the sun is setting, listening to Nora Jones, with a sweet tea, and not feel badly because I am skipping a chance to grow up faster. I want to run with someone that makes me blush through a field, and fall, roll, and laugh until we curl up on the ground. I want to sing to the stars on the back porch until two in the morning, and have someone say it is beautiful. I do not want a party scene, I want a modern day fairy tale. Come fly with me?

I wish everytime I prayed for you, you got Chills...

...You would need a sweater. That day driving home from your house, I could have used the windshield wipers for my eyes. I remember screaming at the top of my lungs for God to hold you because I could not do so anymore, and for Satan to get behind me because he was never going to touch you.
I never fell out of love with you, and to this very moment as I lay motionless in my bed,
I am thinking of if you are okay.
The silver dove you gave me hangs above my head as I "sleep",
to keep some memory of you gleaming above me at all times.
Goodbye anagrams to "obey God", and I just wanted to do so,
but I never wanted you to hate me to the point of this. This being nothing.
Before, I knew what you were doing because even though I was not there,
I was there somewhere. You did not have to tell me when things were going wrong in your life,
I knew. I knew you were scared. Tired. Lonely. All this to say I am still here.
I pray for you so often my soul bleeds. I make miscellaneous passwords for internet sights prayers to you,
so that every time I log in somewhere God hears that I love you, because He loves you.
My heart beats to care about you.
My soul longs to see you in eternity.
My head says I'm loving it, but my brains turns that to "Ailing Vomit". I am scared.
I will wait here in silence. I will pray without ceasing. I will love no matter what.
This fight is not finished.