...You would need a sweater. That day driving home from your house, I could have used the windshield wipers for my eyes. I remember screaming at the top of my lungs for God to hold you because I could not do so anymore, and for Satan to get behind me because he was never going to touch you.
I never fell out of love with you, and to this very moment as I lay motionless in my bed,
I am thinking of if you are okay.
The silver dove you gave me hangs above my head as I "sleep",
to keep some memory of you gleaming above me at all times.
Goodbye anagrams to "obey God", and I just wanted to do so,
but I never wanted you to hate me to the point of this. This being nothing.
Before, I knew what you were doing because even though I was not there,
I was there somewhere. You did not have to tell me when things were going wrong in your life,
I knew. I knew you were scared. Tired. Lonely. All this to say I am still here.
I pray for you so often my soul bleeds. I make miscellaneous passwords for internet sights prayers to you,
so that every time I log in somewhere God hears that I love you, because He loves you.
My heart beats to care about you.
My soul longs to see you in eternity.
My head says I'm loving it, but my brains turns that to "Ailing Vomit". I am scared.
I will wait here in silence. I will pray without ceasing. I will love no matter what.
This fight is not finished.
